Unpredictable

The interesting thing about being a parent is how your life becomes completely unpredictable. When you wake up in the morning, there is no way you can guess at the type of madness that you will encounter. I mean really, I've never woken up and thought... "I believe someone will poop in my bathtub today." (Yes, it happened this week. I do have pictures. I will only show them upon request. I'm not expecting too many.)

So I can't say that I was completely surprised when our Sunday didn't go exactly as planned. When we woke up we had every intention of going to church. Bryan and I are sitting at the table finishing up our breakfast when out of the corner of our eye we notice a giggling toddler shaped blur speed towards our bedroom. We heard the door shut and our heads snapped up. "Oh no, what is she up to??" I say to my hubby. We jump up and go to check things out. We are not totally surprised to find the door locked, this is a new trick that she has learned since we moved. Normally though, she is in her own "child-proofed" room when she does it so we aren't too worried. Not this time.

We immediately start knocking and asking her to let us in. We have found this works better than barking threats through the door- who wants to open the door to an angry person threatening violence? Normally, she comes to the door after a few seconds. Not this time. Next came the bribes. "Oh Presley, let us in and we'll give you a piece of candy... ice cream?...wanna go outside??... PRESLEY FAYE ROSS!!! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!!!

Nothing.

Shortly after the drama began my Dad showed up. He rode his bike over for a visit. We were really happy about that because my Dad can usually break into any lock. Not this time. He tried all of his tricks, the credit card, master key, butter knife, nothing worked. He even tried pleading with Presley himself.

At some point Bryan realized that Presley had moved on to our bathroom and locked that door as well. So while Dad and Bryan worked on the lock I sat beside the bathroom window and tried to reason with this stubborn child. When I first walked up I knew what she was doing because I could smell the lotions and soap coming from inside the bathroom. Begging her to come let me in wasn't working so I decided to try to keep her at the window as much as possible until the guys could get the lock opened.

Once she came over to the window and pulled the blinds back a bit I was able to see some of the disaster that she had created. First, she'd "washed her hair" with soap and lotion and probably a bit of baby wash. She had also "washed" the floors, sinks, counter tops and bathtub a bit too. She had spent some time flushing a roll of toilet paper a little at a time. Then she moved onto my makeup. After painting her face and a little on the floor, she brought the chapstick over and started decorating my window and a bit of the wall. All while I am screaming for her to stop! I told her to drop it. So what did she do. She dropped it of course. In the toilet!!

As I am outside trying to reason with the worlds most stubborn two year old, the guys have started drilling a hole in the lock on the doorknob. They'd seen it done before, how hard could it be?? We wanted new doorknobs anyway right??

Presley comes to the window at one point, looking kind of sleepy, and says "Mommy, I want you to hold me." "Okay" I tell her. "Go open the door." I hear her run over and try to unlock the door and then she runs back and says "I can't do it." Apparently, it's pretty hard to unlock a door when you have lotion and soap all over your hands. I told her to go get a towel and wipe her hands off. Not so smart. She runs over and turns on the bathtub. This is the point where I start to panic. I started having visions of her falling in the tub, or the water scalding her! I send Bailey in to tell her Daddy what Presley is doing. Not too long after that I hear Bry enter the bathroom so I ran in the house to see what kind of damage has been done.

The guys decided the best thing to do was to just bust a hole in the door. Her safety was way more important. I walked in the bathroom and asked Bry if he'd spanked her yet. "Nope." He says. "Well then, get outta my way." I tell him. My Dad takes off out of the bathroom because he can't bare to see one of his precious Grandchildren get a spanking. Is this really the same man that raised me???

Needless to say, we missed church. She ended up spending a total of one hour in our bathroom. Thanks to a phone conversation with Joanna I did take some pictures. (You are taking pictures of this?? Right, Ange???) Hope you get a kick out of this. Presley sure did!

Dad trying to get the door opened.
I can't tell...does he look unhappy to you??

Presley looking at me through the chapstick/lotion smeared window.

You can't really see all of the makeup and lotion smeared everywhere but I think you can get the gist of the damage from this photo.

She was not happy about having her fun interrupted!

I wish I'd taken the picture before he wiped off her makeup!

Nice, huh?